The 10 Wedding Commandments

Wedding planning comes with its own set of rules... for brides and grooms with a leg up on the do's and don'ts, they can plan on a lot less stress and frustration.  Get started with my top 10 wedding commandments.

1. Thou shall not procrastinate when wedding planning.  Procrastination is the sure-fire way to increase wedding related fights, stress and added costs.  Couples that can stay ahead of the long list of to-dos are guranteed to have a lot less of all of the above.  If organization and pro-active planning is just not your thing, than take my advice and hire a wedding planner.      

2. Thou shall be a supportive and involved fiance.  Contrary to popular culture, most brides desperately want their groom more involved with the wedding planning.  While there will be some aspects that you have less of any opinion than others, it is important to not fall mute for majority of the major decisions.  Speaking up on elements that are important to you (generally anything related to food, music or an open bar perked the interest of the grooms I worked with) will take the pressure off your bride to make choices that you will like.  After all, a wedding is the first step in your new life together and I'm betting your want to have a say in that.

3. Thou shall not try on a dress that they can't afford.  Seems like solid advice but watching reality TV like Say Yes to the Dress, you get the feeling that it is worth repeating.  It would not be wise to test-drive BMW when a Ford Focus is more your budget.  Dresses cost more because of higher quality fabrics and construction just like a high performance car.  Trying on a dress outside your budget, makes the flaws of lower cost (and quality) dresses all the more obvious.  Try your bridal consultants and don't test drive a high priced dress unless your willing to fork over the extra cash (or have a friend that will).

4. Thou shall buck tradition for a more personalized event.  Not to undercut the role of tradition but weddings are most memorable for all involved when they reflect the unique aspects of the honor guests of the evening.  If a common tradition like throwing the bouquet or cutting the cake is just not your thing, then by all means replace it will something that is.  A wedding should be an expression of the couple's personalities and sometimes breaking the rules leads to new traditions that are a better fit than those of past generations.

5. Thou shall hire professionals when they desire professional results.  Only professionals can promise high-quality, professional results.  Bargain basement vendors or gifts from friends simply don't have the necessary skills and experience to match up (which is why they cost less).  Take it from me, if it matter that you have the best flowers, music, photos, etc, opt for the pro.

6. Thou shall not skip a wedding planner.  The biggest regret brides have about their wedding day is not hiring a planner.  Without this careful buffer, all that envitable goes wrong leading to and on wedding day will fall into your lap (vodka not included).  Therapist, advisor, confident, advocate, problem solver and friend... your wedding planner will play all these roles during your time together and are crucial to curbing the kind of stress that brings out the bridezilla in all of us.  Consider the expense an investment in your help and mental stability.

7. Thou shall not offer a cash bar.  Sticking to my guns on this one... Cash Bars are TACKY as well as anything else on your wedding day that requires you guest pony up cash is tacky.  Remember these are the same dearly loved friends and family that bought a special outfit, traveled across the country, paid for a hotel room and bought you a gift for your wedding.  Limit the bar to wine and beer only or opt for  a daytime wedding instead to cut costs.

8. Thou shall rethink a DIY project when it becomes too stressful.  Do-it-yourself projects for wedding day should first and foremost be fun.  If you're lucky they might also save you money.  By the time crafting supplies have taken over your living room and hundreds have been spent, you'll need more than cost cutting benefits acting as motivation.  Be realistic about your crafting abilities and available time before you find yourself desperate cut your losses and hand things over to the pros.

9. Thou shall send thank you notes to weddings guests (and vendors!).  And hand-written notes at that!  After all, you had the most memorable and happy day because of the people who shared wedding day with you and made your vision come to life.  A proper thank you is the least you can do.

10. Thou shall focus on the big picture.  Over the course of wedding planning, lots of small details will change, things will go wrong, and stress will threaten your sanity.  Through it all, it is important to remember why you're planning such a special event in the first place and be grateful that you have the ability to do so.  Moral of the story.... don't sweat the small stuff.

What wedding commandments are you following?  Did I miss any?  Leave a comment below!

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